The Slient Tear
If someone asked what's the most hurtful feeling, I shall say its the slient tear. So what is the slient tear? It is the tear that flows from the heart. This would only happen if you feel your heart being terribly sad. There are the tears beyond control that just flow down from the edge of your eyes and they wont seem to stop even if you force them to...
You wont cry with sound but sliently the tears just flow down...I be in this situations lots of times before...Not that I want to but I just cant help it. I am not one who put an act in front of others, not one who would be easy at using words to comfort others or to show care and concern for others. Cos to me words are just like bubbles that would vanish, many times I want to tell someone how much I miss or care for them but then that just words...words doesnt care much weight to me. I feel that its the action that count. I could tell you today that I will be there when you needed me but then when you really needed me, I might not be at your side so what's the point of those words? to make the person feel better? but that just a false hope...
So when I cried its really hurtful and slient. Firstly I dun want to let people see me crying or that the tears just drop down. Its really troublesome to let people see your sad face lol...
Anyway this time the slient tear, I did feel sour at the same time together with hurt. No one scolded me, no one beat me up. Its just about someone's reaction that I really cared for. Immediately after I heard the reaction, the tears just begin to fall... ...
May be I might not be the best among the basket of eggs, the shinnest in the pot of gold, the cutest in the roll of dolls/ puppies or cuties, maybe I am not the most likable or sociable person to begin with or occupied a place in one's heart but than to me you are one of the most important pieces that make my heart whole. Sure I might be like a wooden block at times but that doesnt mean I am cold hearted or grow distant. Its just that I dun known how to express myself for the fear of projecting as a hyprocite in the end. I seen hyprocites here and there and the wrost fear is to become one of them. My mum say that I dunno how to care for others, she's right. I really dun known how to do besides physical actions mainly because I dun want to give people false hope or blank cheques.
